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To develop a relationship, you must be able to dance with the thorns, storms, rain and all the errat

We all want a good relationship. Be it with someone we love, a business partner, project partner, colleagues, with our bosses, or subordinates. Everyone wants a good relationship in some way or another. Why? A good relationship brings us happiness, and joy. It makes our lives more meaningful, and more bearable during stressful periods. Sometimes we may envy other people's relationship, as we see how happy they are, and we wonder if we will ever have the same dynamics as them.

However, those are the surface appearance of the relationships we see. We do not know what goes on underneath that happy appearance. They may gone through many hurdles, struggles, obstacles, and therefore their relationship is strong. We should not be quick to judge the dynamics of a relationship by a quick glance. By looking underneath the surface, we may observe what is not known by the eyes.

In every relationship, there are always ups and downs. There are things we expect from one another. Maybe you want your boss to give you less working hours, or cut you some slack. Maybe you don't want your partner to be distracted by phones when both of you are out. Maybe this and maybe that. Of course, once they do not meet our expectations, conflicts arise. This is the part where no one likes. However, a strong relationship will always have many challenges such as these. It is how the people in the relationship handle the conflict that defines the strength of that relationship. It is not just one person. This nurturing of a relationship is akin to the rain, storms, and all sorts of weather that a tree has to go through to become stronger. While there may be scars at the end, the tree will continue to grow and become stronger and tougher.

It is the same for any relationship. They may be scars after a conflict, and either party may feel hurt. But at the end, if everyone work toward the same goal, everyone will find some way to compromise, let go of our ego, and work towards the relationship. Of course, to do that, we first have to let go of our ego. Dropping our expectations, or our opinions is a key step. We should also communicate openly with each other. In that way, trust can then be re-established.

Hence, we should not look at what we only see from the outside. If a tree looks very sturdy and strong, know that it has survived many waves of challenges and obstacles. If a relationship is very strong, know that the people in that relationship has gone through many challenges together.

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